The Root of Pain, Suffering and Unhappiness
Updated: Jan 24
Pain, suffering and unhappiness, things you would like to avoid. Try as you might these dark creatures still show up in your life. Sometimes they are hidden under a cheerful demeanor. Sometimes they cause crippling pain. Sometimes there is just so much emotion it turns into an angry outburst or random tears. How do you rid the pain, suffering and unhappiness from your life?
Pain suffering and unhappiness exist because you are not in charge of some part of your life or yourself. Somewhere you think or feel that a person, idea or emotion has power over you. In the part of your life where this is true, pain, suffering and unhappiness occur even when you want something different.
You are simultaneously aware and unaware of the reason you have pain, suffering or unhappiness. You, along with everyone else, are a different combination of beliefs and experiences stemming from childhood and any traumas along the way. You might recognize some of your ideas and emotions as coming from your parents. You lived and experienced life through that family pattern of beliefs as normal. What you might not realize is why you can’t change something in your life that you want to change.
An idea, feeling and experience from your past has created the belief that something or someone other than yourself has power over you, your choices, or your perspective. Maybe you grew up with parents who always put everyone and everything else before themselves. Maybe your parents weren’t great communicating their emotions and desires with each other. Maybe your parents had an intense disagreement that never got resolved. These patterns that were present became your normal ideas and feelings about life, relationships, human interaction, etc. If you never grew up seeing, feeling and experiencing the ability to safely, calmly, and confidently express yourself, you are going to have difficulty expressing your own opinion when it comes to your life. If you can’t express your opinion, your ability to create the type of relationship, friendships, creative ventures, and such that you want is going to be limited, stressful or impossible. You’re going to end up with relationship and life patterns similar to your parents.
You are supposed to be seeing and experiencing your dreams in life. You are supposed to have your own perspective on events even if it is different than everyone else’s. Your life is about you. If you didn’t grow up experiencing freedom of expression and awareness, pain, suffering and unhappiness occur until you see the pattern and start making changes. No one is to blame for the patterns of the past. The present is now and it is yours to shape, mold and create as you wish.